


Fighting for the Chance to Know You Better

by SilverCrane



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Insecurity, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:41:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29243739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverCrane/pseuds/SilverCrane
Summary: "What the fuck is up with you?" Kyoutani repeats, his breath hot on Shigeru's face. "You've been off all day!""Kyoutani-san!" Kindaichi steps forward from where he had been doing passing drills with the new first years. "It was just a mistake, let him go."But Shigeru doesn't want him to let go, honestly. He scowls, reaching his hand out and fisting it through Kyoutani's coarse hair, jerking his head down. "And what about you?" He growls. "You were late on your approach, you could've saved that ball!"
Relationships: Kyoutani Kentarou/Yahaba Shigeru
Comments: 7
Kudos: 114





	Fighting for the Chance to Know You Better

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! I'm back! This was a inspired by my buddy Fukoronoko on Tumblr!

Shigeru honestly doesn't know what started it. 

They're practicing, and it's fine, and then suddenly he messes up.

The ball he sent up for Kyoutani hits the net, unspiked. The room goes quiet. 

He hasn't missed a set since first year. He can feel the eyes on him, and his chest seizes up. His mouth feels like sandpaper and his arms are like weights. Putting on his time-perfected smile, he straightens.

"Sorry Kyoutani-kun, that was my-"

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kyoutani explodes, and Shigeru finally looks at him. His eyes are narrowed in rage, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. He looks like he's about to punch Shigeru, and he takes an involuntary step backwards, swallowing heavily.

"It was a mistake, ok? I'll do better next time-" Kyoutani cuts him off again, stalking closer and grabbing his collar. He makes a noise of distress as he's yanked off his feet, the world swaying before him.

"What the fuck is up with you?" Kyoutani repeats, his breath hot on Shigeru's face. "You've been off all day!"

"Kyoutani-san!" Kindaichi steps forward from where he had been doing passing drills with the new first years. "It was just a mistake, let him go."

But Shigeru doesn't want him to let go, honestly. He scowls, reaching his hand out and fisting it through Kyoutani's coarse hair, jerking his head down. "And what about you?" He growls. "You were late on your approach, you could've saved that ball!"

Kyoutani growls, shoving him away. He stumbles, hands freeing from their grips in Kyoutani's hair. Instead he grabs the boy's shirt, jerking him around. Kyoutani retaliates by shoving his hand in his face, his cheek stinging as it forcefully rubs against his teeth.

"Don't fuckin' blame me for your bad tosses! Youre supposed to be captain, aren't you? You've been slacking off, I can tell!" Theres a sharp tugging pain in Shigeru's skull as Kyoutani's fingers find his hair.

"Well I'm trying!" He hisses, half in pain, and Kyoutani shoves him against a wall. His breath wheezes out and there's a shocked cry from one of the volleyball members, but he doesn't have the wits to tell who. Bright pinpoints of light swim in his vision, and he gasps a breath, his hand slapping against Kyoutani's face. "Do you know how hard it is-"

"Enough!" There are hands on his arms, pulling him away from Kyoutani. The voice he recognizes as Watari, who scowls at them both disapprovingly. "What the fuck was that?" He asks, and Shigeru knows it's serious. One of the first years casts a half-hearted glance towards the swear jar, implemented by the libero himself, but he doesn't dare interrupt.

"Sorry." Kyoutani mumbles, rubbing his cheek in the spot Shigeru nailed him. He feels a twinge of guilt, but not enough to make him apologize. He remains quiet, and Watari sighs.

"We can't just have our captain and vice-captain fighting." He reasons, arms crossing over his chest. "So you two are going to have to work out whatever the _heck_ that was." He glances to the waiting team members, who Shigeru avoids looking at. His cheeks burn with embarrassment.

"We can run practice for a little while, captain." Kindaichi speaks up, ever so dependable. Watari smiles, grabbing Kyoutani's and Shigeru's arms with a vice-like grip.

"Great!" He says with a threatening smile. "Now, you two go sit in the locker room and think about what you've done. Leave practice early if you have to, you look like crap." He drags them both to the door, kicking it open with one foot and throwing them both in.

The silence between them stretches uncomfortably. Shigeru is the first to move, making his way to his locker and grabbing the first aid kit there. He studies his face in the hand mirror he inherited from Oikawa, wincing at his split lip.

"Sorry." Kyoutani finally speaks up, and Shigeru can see his reflection standing. His shoulders are hunched slightly, his eyes averted.

Shigeru shakes his head, although he knows Kyoutani can't see him. "I know I'm not exactly the greatest setter. You guys are used to better. I'm trying to get better, sorry." There's movement in his mirror, and he glances over. Kyoutani stares at him with wide eyes.

"Are you fucking insane?" He says harshly, and Shigeru winces. 

"Look, I know I'm not Oikawa." He closes his locker, hand dropping to his side. "And you guys are used to so much better-"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Kyoutani repeats, cutting him off. He stalks closer, and Shigeru tenses, ready for another fight. "I _know_ you're not Oikawa, that's not what this is about!"

Shigeru blinks. "It's not?" 

"No! You're not Oikawa and I don't expect you to be!" He softens, shoulders slumping. "Is that what you thought this was about?"

Suddenly nervous, he glances to the side. "It's not?" He asks, fiddling with his fingers. 

Kyoutani inhales sharply, collapsing on the bench. "Okay. Okay- the reason I was upset was because you look like you're about to collapse, honestly. You've messed up seven sets today, and you've been calling me Kyoutani-kun since that last mess up."

Shigeru blinks, a hand going to his face.

"Yahaba." Kyoutani says, glancing up at him. "When was the last time you got a good night's sleep?"

The question makes him wince- in all honesty, he can't actually recall. It's almost exam week, after all, and he's a third year. Add his captain duties, the new first years, and student council on top of that... He suddenly realizes that maybe twelve hours of sleep in an entire week isn't exactly enough to pass as usual.

"It's almost exam week." His mouth says, as an excuse. Kyoutani gives him an exasperated look.

"You fucking kidding me?"

"You say that a lot, you know?" He attempts a joke, which fails when Kyoutani glares at him. "Sorry."

"So, you're telling me you- Yahaba Shigeru, who ranked ninth in the _whole school_ on last year's finals- aren't sleeping because you're worried about your test scores?"

Shigeru winces, averting his gaze. "Ninth isn't good enough." He mumbles, and Kyoutani scowls. "My brother was first all three years he was here."

"Fuck your brother!" Kyoutani bursts out, throwing his hands up. Shigeru flinches again, his hands jerking close to his chest. Kyoutani goes quiet, exhaling slowly. 

"Oi. Yahaba." He tilts his head, patting the bench next to him. "You don't have to keep comparing yourself to your brother, you know." He says as Shigeru sits, folding his hands in his lap.

"Tell that to my parents." He says, half joking. It doesn't pass well, and Kyoutani narrows his eyes at him. "Look, Kyoutani, it's fine. I'll be back to normal after exams, and you won't have to worry about my bad tosses-"

"It's not about the tosses." He interrupts, hand gripping Shigeru's wrist. His eyes dart down, then back up at Kyoutani's.

"It's not?" He asks faintly.

Kyoutani groans, gritting his teeth. "Do I have to spell it out for you?" Upon receiving nothing but a blank look from Shigeru, he sighs. "I'm worried about you, shithead."

Ah.

"I'm sorry." He apologizes out of reflex, impulsively smiling. 

"Why are you apologizing? And stop smiling like that, I hate it."

Shigeru forces the smile off his face, fingers curling. "I'd apologize again, but I don't think you'd like it." His lips twitch, but Kyoutani's face remains impassive. 

"Look. How many hours of sleep did you get last night?" Kyoutani asks, his gaze fierce. Shigeru inhales sharply, eyes darting to the side.

"Um. Two." He hears Kyoutani groan, and his grip on Shigeru's wrist tightens.

"That's it." He stands, dragging Shigeru up with him. "You can't practice on two hours of sleep. I don't care how good at pretending you are, you are going to go home and sleep."

"I can't." He says quickly, panic rising in him. He quickly fights it down, putting on a smile. "I have a responsibility to the team, anyways."

"Yahaba." Kyoutani says, speaking slowly and clearly. "Go. Home."

Shigeru bites his lip, averting his eyes. He senses Kyoutani shift. "Yahaba." He says, and his tone makes Shigeru flinch.

"Um. If I skip practice my parents would know. Plus they wouldn't let me sleep right away, since I have chores and dinner and they think I should be studying, because obviously I'm not studying enough if I'm still only ninth, and they already think volleyball is a waste of time-" He rambles, only stopping when Kyoutani grabs his shoulders.

"Fine." He says firmly. "Come over to my place, then."

Shigeru blinks. "What?"

"Come over to my place." Kyoutani repeats with unwavering conviction.

"Your parents won't mind?"

Kyoutani shakes his head. "My dad's working until twelve and my sister's at college." He steps back, offering Shigeru his hand. "C'mon."

After a moment's hesitation, he takes a deep breath, slipping his hand into Kyoutani's. It's warm and rough, but surprisingly gentle. His fingers curl around Shigeru's tightly and firmly, like a promise to never let go.

"If you murder me my parents will sue." He jokes, and Kyoutani scoffs, pausing to scoop up his satchel bag. He also grabs Shigeru's, swinging it over his shoulder despite Shigeru's protests that he could carry it himself.

"I've never actually been to your house." Shigeru says, once they've gotten on the train. Their hands are still firmly intertwined, and his skin crawls with the stares of the people around them. He can practically hear them whispering. 

But Kyoutani refuses to let go.

"Well, this is a last measure resort." Kyoutani huffs. There's only one open seat, and he insists Shigeru sit, standing in front of him like some sort of bodyguard. It makes him smile a little, how protective Kyoutani is being. 

"Are you sure you don't just want to get me to a secondary location so you can murder me?" He teases, taking their bags from Kyoutani and holding them in his lap. His hand feels strangely cold, now that Kyoutani isn't holding it, but he doesn't stop to consider the implications of that thought. Kyoutani rolls his eyes.

"If I wanted to murder you I would've done it a long time ago, trust me."

Shigeru hums, letting his eyes close slightly. Kyoutani was right- if he had stayed at practice, he probably wouldn't have made it through the day. But still, he feels a little guilty- scratch that, a lot guilty- over not being there to lead practice. He is the captain after all. He can't afford to take days off.

Kyoutani's knee brushes against his and he jumps, startling awake. "Ah, sorry." Kyoutani mumbles, his grip on the handrail tightening. The car had gotten more crowded in the probably-more-than-a-few-seconds his eyes had been closed, and Kyoutani looks downright miserable, trying to avoid contact with the people crowding around him.

"We could switch, if you'd like." Shigeru offers, but Kyoutani adamantly shakes his head.

"I'd rather you not pass out on top of me, thank you. Besides, we're almost at my stop."

And sure enough, they get off two stops later, in a part of town Shigeru had never been to before. Sometime during the disembarkment, Kyoutani's hand had found his again, warm and comfortable and strangely familiar. He tugs Shigeru behind him as he walks; although Shigeru is taller, Kyoutani is the one with longer legs.

There are less people out here, but Shigeru still feels the urge to drop his hand when someone passes. But Kyoutani's grip is tight and unrelenting, and he couldn't let go even if he tried.

"Here." Kyoutani says finally, pausing in front of one of the small houses lining the street. It's a little worn down, and the garden in front is overgrown, but the flowers are bright and the house is an inviting faded yellow.

"It's cute." 

Kyoutani rolls his eyes. "Don't patronize me." He opens the front gate, holding it open for Shigeru before letting it swing shut. He lets himself into the house with a set of keys attached to a Vabo-chan keychain, and Shigeru can't help but smile. He has the exact same keychain, sitting in the smallest pocket of his school bag.

"I'm home!" Kyoutani calls as he kicks off his shoes, ushering Shigeru in. He slips on a worn pair of slippers, a little bumblebee sewn into the left foot.

"Pardon the intrusion." Shigeru mumbles, following after. He kneels to take his shoes off, before sliding them onto the shelf and exchanging them for one of the guest slippers. He pauses in front of a portrait of a young woman, glancing over at Kyoutani. "Your mom?"

Kyoutani nods, clapping his hands together and bowing his head slightly. Shigeru does the same thing, sending a quick greeting and a prayer to Kyoutani's mother.

"She's really pretty." He says softly, afraid to disturb the silent house. Kyoutani stares at him, his amber eyes softer than Shigeru is used to seeing. 

The moment is gone when he turns, walking into the house. Shigeru follows after, hesitantly. "She died when I was younger." He says, leading Shigeru through the living room and kitchen.

"I'm sorry." Shigeru says quietly, fiddling with his fingers. He knows the words are hollow, but he doesn't know what else to say. Kyoutani grunts, opening one of the hallway doors and stopping, turning to Shigeru. 

"It's not like I remember much about her, so don't be so awkward." He enters the room, and Shigeru follows, glancing around.

Kyoutani's room is decorated wall to wall with volleyball posters.

Against one wall is a desk, piled high with textbooks and papers and other paraphernalia. Built around it is a shelf, which houses more trinkets than books. There's a volleyball trophy and a few medals, and Shigeru spots a plaque with _Junior Soccer League Champions_ on it. In one of the corner, a bunch of plastic stars have been stuck to the ceiling and wall, so tightly clustered together that Shigeru doubts they're accurate.

"Oi. Stop staring." Kyoutani clears his throat, and Shigeru suddenly remembers he's not alone. His attention snaps back to Kyoutani, standing with his arms crossed next to the bed.

"Sorry." He rubs the bridge of his thumb hesitantly. "So what now?"

Kyoutani raises an eyebrow, pointing to his bed. "Go. To. Sleep."

"In your bed?!" He can feel his face heat up. "No way!"

"Yahaba Shigeru." Kyoutani growls, and it feels weird to hear his given name from Kyoutani's lips. "You're going to sleep right now or I'll knock you out."

"Fine! Fine." He sighs, unbuttoning his blazer and pulling off his sweatervest. He unties his tie and places the whole pile gently on Kyoutani's drawer. "And what about you?" He asks. Kyoutani has the audacity to look surprised. 

"I'll go to homework or whatever." He shrugs.

"Nope." Shigeru reaches over, capturing his wrist with one hand. He feels particularly bold today, maybe from the lack of sleep. This boldness is what prompts him to speak. "Stay with me."

There's a moment of silence in which Shigeru thinks maybe he made a wrong move somewhere. Kyoutani stares at him with an unreadable expression on his face, and his fingers slip from Kyoutani's wrist before the other speaks.

"Okay."

Which is how they both end up on Kyoutani's bed, fingers interlocked. Shigeru isn't exactly certain what they are or how he feels, but with the pent up exhaustion threatening to pull him under, he honestly can't focus long enough to care.

"Hey." Kyoutani whispers, pulling Shigeru back from the brink of sleep. "Why do you push yourself so hard?"

Shigeru hums. If he were truly awake he would have dodged the question with a joke or a laugh. But exhaustion does strange things to a person, and he finds himself answering truthfully.

"My parents." He speaks softly. "My brother is really successful- He graduated top of his class from Tohsei University, which is one of the top schools in Miyagi, and he even started his own business. They want me to be like him, and I think I disappoint them sometimes."

Kyoutani hums, low and thoughtful, and his fingers grip Shigeru's just a bit tighter. "Fuck your parents." He says, echoing his previous sentiment. Shigeru can't help but laugh a little at that, pressing his face deeper into the pillow cases.

"Thanks, Kyoutani." He whispers, and the pressure in his hand is the last thing he feels before he falls asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you have a wonderful day! :)))


End file.
